Lowering Our Change Defense

We don’t fear change in theory.

We fear it when it shows up in our daily lives.

Switch our shampoo, our pillow, or our morning routine, and suddenly we’re irritated. We sleep on the same side of the bed, reach for the same blanket, buy the same products year after year because they feel safe. Familiar. Predictable.

These small comforts shape us more than we realize. The changes we resist the hardest are often the ones closest to us. They disrupt our sense of control, even when nothing truly bad is happening.

And those micro-resistances train us.

If we struggle over a different shampoo, it makes sense that we tense up when bigger changes appear. Changes in our communities. Changes in culture. Changes in how we exist together.

So we pull back.

We label it “not for me.”

We retreat into what we know.

But what if we didn’t?

What if, instead of bracing ourselves, we paused and said, “Okay. This is different. Let’s see what happens.”

You can’t buy the same shampoo anymore. You try something new. Maybe it’s worse. Maybe it’s better. Or maybe it’s just fine. But you learn something important: uncertainty didn’t break you. The discomfort passed.

Those “might be” moments matter.

It might be better.

It might not.

But it might be.

We can’t hope for things to be different while gripping tightly to everything exactly as it is. Change requires space, and space requires us to loosen our grip.

This is where acceptance and change separate. Acceptance isn’t giving up. It isn’t passive. Acceptance is the pause before resistance. It’s choosing curiosity instead of withdrawal. It’s staying present long enough to learn.

Now imagine what could happen if we practiced that beyond our personal habits. What if we stopped keeping people at arm’s length simply because they’re unfamiliar? Because they speak differently, live differently, worship differently, or move through the world in ways we don’t fully understand.

Maybe acceptance looks like listening instead of correcting. Maybe it’s asking questions instead of assuming. Maybe it’s letting someone else’s way of doing things exist without comparison.

A real shift in how we live together doesn’t begin with grand gestures. It begins with lowering our change defense. With trusting that growth often lives on the other side of discomfort.

It starts with the next small change you don’t fight.

The new shampoo.

The unfamiliar voice.

The different way of doing things.

Remember…

Be Kind. Do More Good. We Got This. 🧡🌍